How to deal with children’s rebellious psychology?
“Reverse period” is a critical period of a person’s transition from child to adult. If they are not guided correctly, they will lead young people to be suspicious of people and things, paranoid, indifferent, out of group, and fight against society and other pathological characters, making their faith shake., Annihilation of ideals, decline of will, negative work, passive learning, poor living, etc. Further development may transform into criminal and morbid psychology.
Many parents have this experience: originally cute and lovely children between the ages of fifteen and sixteen years old, always loved to deal with their parents, and their parents could n’t hear a word. What would they rather choke without telling their parents?It lasts for two or three years.
Some children behave blatantly, and some children show negative confrontation, but too many parents sadly find that their own flesh and blood are “against themselves”.
Psychoanalysts refer to this period of adolescent love and parents and teachers as “reverse”.
What is the “reverse period”?
There are children who are in the “rebellious period” at home. Parents are really worried: The child always “twists with the adults”. I wonder what is wrong?
In fact, this phenomenon is not difficult to explain: people have different physiological and psychological characteristics at different stages of growth and development.
In adolescence, in addition to physical changes, the way of thinking also changed from image thinking in childhood to abstract thinking.
A special change among these many changes is the continuous enhancement of self-awareness, and the existence of “self” must be reflected everywhere, so they will manifest themselves by working against their parents.
In fact, the object of their rebellion is not only parents, they will have a strong resistance to the teacher and the whole society.
The “reverse period” is a critical period for a person’s transition from child to adult, so it has the characteristics of two periods: it is a long-term lack of independent thinking ability, sensibility and action ability to adapt to the social environment; alternative, preliminary awakened selfConsciousness governs a strong desire for expression.
That is to express yourself everywhere, to show your own value by showing that you are different from others.
Young people in this period love to dress up differently from others, love to do something eye-catching and different, love to say some surprising things, make others look at each other, this is the effect they want.
With this in mind, it is not difficult for parents to understand their children’s performance.
Harm of the “reversal phase” The “reversal phase” psychology, whether the behavior is incorrectly and correctly guided, will cause young people to be suspicious of people and things, paranoid, indifferent, out-of-group, and anti-social morbid personality, making their beliefs shaken and ideals annihilatedAttenuation of will, negative work, passive learning, sluggish life, etc. Further development may transform into criminal and morbid psychology.
Adolescents in the “rebellious phase” usually have obvious “anti-control” and “confrontation” mentality towards educators, that is, the more you ask him to do this, the less he does.
And this situation is most likely to cause annoyance from teachers and parents.
And teachers, the more annoyed the parents are, the more reprimanded him or her, it will make him or her more disgusted, directly affect the normal relationship between the parents and the teacher, and even develop the rebellious personality to the extreme, resulting in personality andUnhealthy behavior.
Absolutely, there are many cases of rebellious killings, leavings, and suicides by young people in the society. If the disappearance of this disappeared in this particular period, how painful the consequences will be.
How to help children successfully pass the “reverse phase” to correctly guide the psychological correction of “reverse phase” children will benefit them throughout their lives, but if not handled properly, it will affect the child’s psychological development and behavior growth.
How should we help our children in this “reverse period”?
This is a concern for every parent.
Emotional communication is an instinctive need of human beings. In adolescence, children actually have a strong desire to communicate with their parents, so parents should grasp it in a timely manner and pay attention to the following points: 1. Do not ignore children because of busy work and more entertainment.The need for dialogue, parents should be diligent in dialogue with the children of this particular physiological period.
Guide them to understand their parents ‘Luo Luo and teachers’ criticisms in a positive sense. These teachings are all good intentions to help them grow up healthily.
2. When your child talks to you about topics that interest him, pay attention and listen. Don’t be absent-minded or ignored. If you are doing something very urgent, don’t prevent you from saying hello to your child. Protect your child from understanding.
3, accompany the children to participate in activities they are interested in, such as: watching football games, enjoying concerts, etc., encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities, show their self-worth in the activities, communicate with them with the attitude of a close friend, and guide them implicitlyChildren treat people correctly.
4. Even if you do not agree with the children’s opinions at the beginning, you must listen to them patiently, fully understand their opinions, and then put forward your ideas by exchanging opinions. Do not blindly disregard the children’s feelings;Take appropriate forms to avoid deeper gaps caused by rough orders; 5. Speak in a tone of respect, not a tone of lesson.
A good way to make children “obedient” is to respect their children, and vice versa.
6. Parents should face up to the growth of children’s self-awareness and the improvement of the world’s cognition ability. Don’t impose their own values on the child, what the child wants to do, don’t use his own experience to set it, and believe that he can design his future.
Parents need only be patient to help them overcome their childishness and cognitive one-sidedness.
7. Children’s opinions can also be solicited for important matters at home. If his opinions are reasonable or consistent with the adults’ opinions, he will use his opinions to decide. This will increase his sense of “participation (housekeeping)” and sense of responsibility, thereby increasing the children.Adaptation to parents on other issues.
Personal education is more important than rumors. Because parents are the most direct teachers of their children, parents’ good behaviors in daily life can directly promote their children’s mental health and help them survive the retrograde period smoothly.
1. Parents should pay attention to strengthening their self-cultivation, and have heard widely. They can adopt a more scientific and tolerant way of thinking to treat children with rebellious psychology, and gain the trust and respect of their children with the multiple personality charm of parenting.
2. Don’t criticize in the face of children, laugh at others, including children of other people who have behaved in an aversion; do not use unfair attitudes and methods to deal with or resist problems encountered in adult society.
3. Establish children’s independent personality. Don’t be sloppy. Many things can be let them go independently and create opportunities for them to exercise and grow.
4. Someone is human and establish a sense of equality. Parents should not suffer other people’s arbitrariness in front of their children.
It is even more important to respect children’s “exclusive rights”, not to open their children’s letters privately, to peek at their children’s diaries, and to choose the right methods to care for and obey their children to help them.
5. Maintain a calm and rational attitude and avoid excessive actions caused by conflicts with your children.It is unrealistic for parents to understand that adolescents are prone to make mistakes, to properly instruct their children to make fewer mistakes, and to expect them not to make mistakes.